week 6; saturday ( dragon )

[axilium]

[he should've confessed. he should've confessed. he should've confessed.

the thought runs like a mantra through belph's head. he feels like he's about go insane—he has, for a long time, and now he's on the brink.

but too many people are, already. he has to hold it together. this situation is salvageable; it has to be.]

Dragon!

Comments

[themodsgrimm]

[She thinks about this, brow furrowing as she tries to determine what her limits are.]

... if you would like me to do it after execution tomorrow, in your name so that you may be anonymous, it will come at the cost of half an answer as it requires my involvement.

Should you be able to wait until Monday, and simply post the letter on your own while no one is looking, then you may do so for free.

[axilium]

... Actually, what if I just had Cardia speak on my behalf again? That seems like it'd be simpler.

[themodsgrimm]

[She nods.]

You may do that if you choose.

... please be kind to her, as well.

[axilium]

Honestly, at this point, she's probably one of the best people in this entire damn place.

[themodsgrimm]

[Her expression turns partially wry.]

... you are all doing your best, and for that reason, I am unfortunately fond of all of you despite all of my best efforts.

But some have lost more dearly than others, and so I hope you take care of them to the best of your abilities.

[axilium]

[he lets out a bark of laughter at that.]

Me? What the hell do you expect me to do? I could've prevented this entire stupid mess, and yet—!

[themodsgrimm]

[She watches him quietly.]

If I had thought you made a mistake, I would have told you upon your entry.

Do not bask in self-loathing because you cannot control the choices of others.

[axilium]

I could control my choice, though!

[maybe selfishly, the one thing he's most upset about is that steph will lose someone she cares about. he doesn't regret that zelos will die, per se—not for monika's sake, but because he had to go if sanji will die, but.

ha. when did he become so ruthless? or rather, maybe this was the real him all along.]

[themodsgrimm]

[She nods.]

You could have.

But we do not know if that would have changed anything. If people cared for you too much to vote for you, or if you did win the vote, and suddenly we would lose one more person working hard to bring us to a happy ending.

I would have missed you, if you had gone.

I know that I would not have been alone.

Ruminate, if you must, but trials do not end the way they do via the actions of one individual alone.

[axilium]

[he grits his teeth.]

Fine. Whatever. I'll fix this. I have to. I have to...

[themodsgrimm]

... you are not alone, Belph.

It is not on you alone.

[axilium]

Doesn't mean I can afford to try any less.

[themodsgrimm]

No - but you have people you can rely on.

I admire individual action... but moving forward requires coordination and discussion.

[axilium]

That's what I need Cardia for. We'll see how things go from there.

[themodsgrimm]

[She nods.]

... we are close to the end.

We will make sure it is a fortunate one.

[axilium]

... You'd better not stab us in the back.

[themodsgrimm]

[Without hesitation:]

I would rather kill her and then myself.

[axilium]

.. Ha. That's quite the declaration.

[themodsgrimm]

[She shakes her head.]

It is a fact, not some kind of heroic announcement.

But do not rely on that - it is not possible for me to take such action, as much as I would like to.

[axilium]

[he flaps a hand.]

All that matters is if you're sincere about helping us.

[not 100% convinced, but he'll probably never be until it happens, tbh.]

[themodsgrimm]

I am.

[But she raises one shoulder in a half shrug.]

Though I understand that those are merely words - I would prove to you my intentions if I could, but I can do nothing until the ink is in my hands.