[ good don't ask about it because i haven't finished playing the sequel that explains it yet
Hikage takes a deep breath, a little shakily - but he's already dug this hole. He has to get in it now. ]
I still don't remember most of who I was when I was alive. I just remember that my family was full of wretched people. I'd put up with them for the one person who wasn't - my little sister. I think she was only my half-sister, but she treated me like her real brother... We loved each other. Her parents didn't pay attention to her, but I would. ... She was really sick. [ his voice becomes stiff. ] She died... She could have been saved, but she wasn't. And I thought... I could find a way to see her again. I did find a way. I studied things... I learned things humans weren't meant to learn. I killed people. I did terrible things... And I found a road to the other side. But at the last minute... I panicked. I didn't want her to see what I'd become, so I destroyed it. And then... I killed myself.
[ the story is slow and uncertain, and there are gaps - things he still doesn't remember. exactly what he did, exactly how she died, why he got there, and how. but he knows the important parts. ]
That must have been a hundred years ago. Maybe more. I died, but I woke up... in the path between worlds I thought I destroyed, with no way out. She wasn't there. I couldn't remember anything. I learned that the other souls would pass on... but no matter what I did, I couldn't. I didn't know who I was, or why I was there. I was just stuck there. Year after year after year... I forgot what it was like to be human. I started getting desperate. I couldn't feel anything... But I could feel something when I saw the other souls suffering there... so I started doing it on purpose. I... manipulated them. I made them fall into despair, so they'd never pass on. I made them remember all their worst memories. I turned them into monsters. It felt good. I loved to watch them lose all of their hope. To watch them scream... I did it over and over, for years... I thought that must be the reason I existed... to make humanity suffer the way I was suffering...
[ he just trails off. it's an unnatural ending to a story told with uncertainty - because he still doesn't know how it's going to end, either. all he does is laugh a little bit. ]
no subject
Hikage takes a deep breath, a little shakily - but he's already dug this hole. He has to get in it now. ]
I still don't remember most of who I was when I was alive. I just remember that my family was full of wretched people. I'd put up with them for the one person who wasn't - my little sister. I think she was only my half-sister, but she treated me like her real brother... We loved each other. Her parents didn't pay attention to her, but I would. ... She was really sick. [ his voice becomes stiff. ] She died... She could have been saved, but she wasn't. And I thought... I could find a way to see her again. I did find a way. I studied things... I learned things humans weren't meant to learn. I killed people. I did terrible things... And I found a road to the other side. But at the last minute... I panicked. I didn't want her to see what I'd become, so I destroyed it. And then... I killed myself.
[ the story is slow and uncertain, and there are gaps - things he still doesn't remember. exactly what he did, exactly how she died, why he got there, and how. but he knows the important parts. ]
That must have been a hundred years ago. Maybe more. I died, but I woke up... in the path between worlds I thought I destroyed, with no way out. She wasn't there. I couldn't remember anything. I learned that the other souls would pass on... but no matter what I did, I couldn't. I didn't know who I was, or why I was there. I was just stuck there. Year after year after year... I forgot what it was like to be human. I started getting desperate. I couldn't feel anything... But I could feel something when I saw the other souls suffering there... so I started doing it on purpose. I... manipulated them. I made them fall into despair, so they'd never pass on. I made them remember all their worst memories. I turned them into monsters. It felt good. I loved to watch them lose all of their hope. To watch them scream... I did it over and over, for years... I thought that must be the reason I existed... to make humanity suffer the way I was suffering...
[ he just trails off. it's an unnatural ending to a story told with uncertainty - because he still doesn't know how it's going to end, either. all he does is laugh a little bit. ]
... That's the real me.